I love working at the Embassy.

Today, our media department staged a mock election. They offered cake for each ballot cast, and extra ballots (and cake) could be purchased for 10 NIS. Voting was completely public, and everyone who voted had to state their reason for their selection. A large poster was erected with the names of the major parties, and a picture of the party’s number 2 person (so everyone would know who would be in charge if number 1 had a stroke. Irreverent, I know.)

I must say that I was shocked by the results. Even figuring in the bribery and the massive amount of voter fraud (hanging chads have nothing on us, baby), people gave the most interesting reasons for casting their vote. If this truly reflects the way in which people make voting choices, I’m appalled. Here are my observations:

• A surprising number of voters chose whichever party their boss voted for
• More than one person voted for whomever their politically savvy spouse or friend voted for
• Both Sharon and Bibi received sympathy votes - Sharon because he’s in a coma, and Bibi because losing would end his political career
• Several people cast their vote for a party because they had had personal encounters with the party leader - and by encounter, I mean they passed nearby on the street. One Embassy-ite cast her vote for Kadima because she came near Olmert, and his body-guards were hot.
• People tended to be narrow in their focus on the issues. For example: our Social Assistance department voted Labor, because of their stance on social issues; a majority of our, er, elder volunteers voted for Pensioner’s rights; quite a few votes for Likud were cast because Bibi would be good for Israel economically; one vote for Meretz because they would probably let us have citizenship; and our Russians all voted for Israel Beiteinu.
• Strangely for a Christian Zionist organization, very few (only one, I think) voted for reasons involving the division of the land of Israel or for broader middle east issues.
• “Hemp is Hip”
• We had one eeny meeny miny mo voter

Here are the (almost meaningless) results:

All in all, it was a very eye-opening experience. I sure hope things are going better in the real elections.

Life in Israel, best of | No Comments »

Things I have learned from my niece:

I didn’t need to worry about her not liking my dog. Within 5 minutes of her arrival she was running laps around the kitchen island ecstatically yelling “I LOVE CHLOE! I LOVE CHLOE!” After their initial interest in eachother, they have adopted a policy of mutual indifference, broken only when Erin eats her morning toast, of which Chloe gets half.

Logical-mathematical intelligence runs in the family. Erin is 2 and a half and does 5+ puzzles. We’re talking about puzzles with 55 almost adult sized pieces. This is an early sign of the geeky egg-headedness displayed by bother her father and her aunt (me) - early indicators point to a career in computer engineering, rocket science, or moving stickers from one sheet of paper to another.

She is easily brainwashed. This is evidenced by the fact that she never fails to call me “Cool Aunt Ree,” and can give a thumbs-up on cue.

All children everywhere like Bamba.

She has an uncanny ability to pick out the most inappropriate thing from an adult conversation and repeat it endlessly. We discovered this at breakfast one day when she learned the phrase “you mock me.” This has become her favorite thing to say, and I’m pretty sure this is going to get her in trouble with her parents someday.

Anything fun that you do, say, or draw must be repeated again and again and again ad infinitum. This is an unbreakable rule.

Diapers lose their efficiency after 16 hours.

It is often better not to ask questions. Almost any question directed at Erin regarding the use of her toys gets a “no,” though she doesn’t actually seem to mind if you just commandeer them. Unless she suddenly decides that she’d rather be playing with said item - which usually happens whenever she begins to think that you might be having fun with it.

Being adorable, intelligent, and funny gets you everywhere with grandma (and everyone else too).

Family, best of | 2 Comments »